Wednesday, July 28, 2010

New Boy Band Alert!

It sure has been tough in the UK to launch some new young studs onto the pop music scene. Some may recall the disastrous launch of next big thing Avenue and their flop single "last goodbye". If you're asking yourself "Avenue?" fear not, no one else heard their song either! Take That and Boyzone still sold records but for a minute it seemed that there was no record label willing to try the boy band formula again. Until now. From the UK here comes The Wanted and their debut track "All time low" to challenge the naysayers.

I've watched the video to "All time low" like a billion times. The song is a great pop track and definitely a step up from the garbage JLS has been spewing. But the thing I I love the most about The Wanted or any new boy band launch is trying to guess who is who. All good boy bands have 5 members (the exception being East 17) and there are 5 distinct boy band members we need to identify:

1. The Hottie. Essentially the one which will sell the most posters, gets girls and gays all bothered when he comes out shirtless and the first (only?) to be offered a solo deal when the band goes tits up.

2. The Bad Boy. May be cute too and you probably have the most chance of having a post concert bounce with him. But he may also be misunderstood so the possibility that the bad boy gets drunk and violent with people is pretty high.

3. The Gay. Absolutely essential. The cutest guy in the group but in a little bro kinda way and ultimately poised to come out in scandalous fashion. Expect all the band members to rally around him when he makes a public statement after UK tabloid rag publishes a tell all story. Memo to Jason in take that- please call me.

4. The Nice guy. He's not the hottest but he's cute. He smiles. A lot. You feel bad about putting tape on his face when his poster is on the reverse side of the Hot one's poster in a teen mag.

5. The Extra. He is forgettable. No one cares what he has to say unless he is telling a story about the other 4 band members we actually like. Most likely to be financially stable after the band splits because he knows he has to make the most of the gravy train.

See if you can correctly identify each member's role in The Wanted's video for "All Time Low"

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